That May be Helpful in Surviving the Post-Apocalyptic Midwest

Plants are moving north // Apocalypse through Earth-self-immolation approaching

Landscape architects, horticulturalists, gardeners and other plant-types noticed a while ago that the Plant Hardiness zones put forward by the USDA seemed to shifting northward.  Plants that couldn’t survive colder northerly climates suddenly found, for example, southern Minnesota to not be all that bad, as global temperatures rose ever so slightly.  The USDA has officially acknowledged this with their new Plant Hardiness maps.  

Here is a super fun toy by the Washington Post to see if hardiness zones have changed in your area. 

The USDA hasn’t admitted it, but this is clearly a harbinger of global environmental change collapse and impending doom.  Global warming/climate change has altered our atmosphere significantly–temperatures are rising, frequency and intensity of meteorological events are increasing.  It’s only a matter of time before freak tornado attacks,  spontaneous raging fires and either endless ice age-ic winters or infinite burning droughts engulf us.  

If we survive these clearly cumulating climactic climatic catastrophes, though, we will need to take a few things into account.  There may be new plants we need to learn to identify in our regions due to the hardiness zone shift, new species with useful traits. This also might push some of our trusted plants north, however.  The changes in temperature will also increase the growing season, which could mean that it won’t be as nearly impossible to survive a winter filled with slow starvation (and zombies).  Or, perhaps the warmer temperatures will increase the rate at which the zombie virus travels. Maybe we’ll be slammed by a double-whammy end-of-times as our own ecological naivety causes the atmosphere to burn and suffocate us, while meanwhile the zombie virus we foolishly thought we could control rampages across the globe…

Either way, check out the cool map


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